The Sex Life Midwife
Since I was 22 years old, almost 40 years ago, I have had the honor of pursuing and working as a midwife and there was nothing else I wanted to do…..until I discovered sexual health counseling. Now I feel I am filling a niche that was meant to be. You never know where the world will take you when you are open to it.
I am happy to announce that in addition to my Certified Nurse Midwife credential, I am now also an AASECT Certified Sexuality Counselor.
I first learned about midwifery when I was living in Israel after college. Besides attending as many as 80% of the uncomplicated births, midwives there provide primary care for women and their children up to the age of six.
At that time in my life, I was not thinking about pregnancy or babies. I was trying to figure out how to translate my feminist, social justice foundation into a career. Midwifery, something I had only read about in historical fiction, was never an option I had considered because I never saw it practiced in the United States. After observing Israeli midwives immerse themselves in their care with love, compassion, equity, and inclusivity, I knew I had found my calling.
Unfortunately, midwifery in the United States is a very different entity. Midwifery care here is not standardized, is fragmented, is disrespected and inaccessible to many. There is an absence of midwifery services in 60% of US regions. Also, most midwives provide services for pregnancy and childbirth but are not recognized as sexual and reproductive primary health care providers for cis female, transgender, and non-binary people, which is an inclusive part of their training.
I have spent the majority of my career explaining to people what I do. People often say to me, “oh you’re a midwife, you must just love babies!”. Well, I like babies. I had a couple of my own and they were freakin’ adorable.
But am I doing this work because I love babies?
No. I found myself drawn to this amazing profession because I love justice and advocacy. I love working together with people as health care partners. I want to help people trust their bodies with THEIR knowledge and experience.
At the time I started on this path, caring for pregnant people seemed like a great way to help close the health equity gap. Besides giving evidenced-based care that leads to well documented better health outcomes, midwives also view birth as a sacred process that is transformative in a person’s life. However, as I have navigated my life and my career I have learned there are many other monumental life transitions and events that are similarly treated inequitably. Two examples include the menopause transition and sexuality.
With advanced training, midwives have the skills to help people with these issues. I have a colleague who focuses on menopause care and calls herself the “Midlife Midwife”. I know another midwife who has advanced training in Functional Medicine and calls herself the “Whole Life Midwife”. So, along those lines, given my advanced training and certification in Sexuality Counseling, I would like to introduce myself as the “Sex Life Midwife”.
So you may be asking yourself, what is a Sexuality Counselor? Well, I have decades of experience trying to explain what I do, so I have no problem explaining the newest iteration of my career.
Sexuality Counselors are medical providers who assist clients to realistically resolve sexual concerns using medical, educational and psychosocial methodologies. Not all sexual health issues are caused by psychological or relationship issues. Sometimes problems arise from life changes such as aging, illness, or childbirth. Sometimes they are caused by a lack of sexual education which is so pervasive in our country.
Who would benefit from sexuality counseling?
People with:
· Limited knowledge about sex or desire to learn more
· Painful sex
· Low or absent sexual desire
· Difficulty having orgasms
· Sexual changes related to peri or post menopause
· Sexuality problems that arise after surgery or medical conditions
· Changes in sexuality after having children
· LGBTQIA2+ individuals who are experiencing sexuality concerns
· Desire discrepancies in couples of all orientations
· Negative self-image/ body image that impacts sexuality
· Trauma-based sexual issues when people are working with a therapist
· Lifestyle issues which impact sexuality
The right to healthy sexuality is an inherent part of being human. However, too many people suffer from sexual dissatisfaction or dysfunction because of incomplete sexual education or disempowerment by the health care system. All individuals have the right to pursue and attain a healthy sexual life of their choice as it leads to better overall health and quality of life and many sexual health problems can be remedied with short term, focused sexuality counseling.
I am so happy, excited, and honored to have completed my training and certification in sexuality counseling. I will continue providing this much needed service at Lifecycle Women’s Health along with midlife and menopause care and general well-body, preventive services in a shame-free and relaxing health care environment. Please reach out time me at www.lifecyclewomenshealth.com or give me a call for more information about the practice and to see if the services I provide are right for you!.
Susan Kamin is a certified nurse midwife and a sexuality health counselor. After many years of helping people give birth and be born, she is now providing personalized integrative well women care at Lifecycle Women's Health in Readfield and Brunswick, Maine. She sees people across the lifespan with a focus on care during midlife/menopause and sexual health. She enjoys sharing her wisdom in the hopes of helping people find pleasure, knowledge, and empowerment in their bodies as they go through all of life's transitions.
